


An Offer You Can't Refuse

by maraib_03



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Heartache, Light Angst, M/M, My first smut attempt, Regret, Reunions, Slow Build, but not too slow I hope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 09:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14638617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraib_03/pseuds/maraib_03
Summary: Ian can’t forget about Mickey, nor does he want to. He’s ready for change, to give up everything for the man he let slip away, but how? He’ll soon receive an offer he can’t refuse.Picking up after the last episode of season 8.





	1. Chapter 1

Mickey sits sipping his beer at a bar he’s started to frequent a few months back. He doesn’t really try to make friends so it’s usually just him. His fingers draw patterns on the counter as he mindlessly watches the bartender flip through the tv channels, as he does every time he comes into this shitty bar.

Once in a while he’ll allow himself to think about Chicago, or more so who is in Chicago. At least that’s when he allows himself. Most of the time the thoughts just intrude his mind without a care as to what Mickey wants. Regardless, the brunet isn’t really used to getting what he wants so he continues to sit there as if his brain isn’t tormenting him of topics he’d rather forget, again.

He glances at the tv, always shit entertainment, if you can even call it that. The channels pass and pause only to skip to the next network.  
He takes a gulp of his beer wishing the day could just be over with already.

Over the brim of his mug, that’s when he sees it...or rather him. He chokes on his beer causing the bartender to pause his channel surfing and look at him.

  
“Shit. Stop. Stop. Keep it there.”

  
The bartender looks at the screen and then at Mickey deciding it’s better to not ask. The guy is fairly new but like everyone else, knows to keep his distance.

  
Mickey stares wide eyed at the tv and apparently at America’s new “Gay Jesus”. Well if that’s not entertainment he doesn’t know what is. He’s reading the closed captioning, careful not to skip a single detail. He gives a slight chuckle, “Gay Jesus” is looking to have a pretty decent rap sheet if all this shit is true.

  
“Fucking hell, Gallagher,” he grumbles.

  
If Mickey were to really be honest, he shouldn’t be surprised. Ian has always had a bit of a god complex, he’s just shocked at how literal it has become.

  
Mickey continues to watch as Ian is escorted to the back of a cop car, looking like the smug bastard he knows the redhead can be. But as soon as the words cross his mind, something changes. Ian’s demeanor shifts and it’s not at the result of him being arrested. Something is missing. He doesn’t look quite alright. Gallagher stares right into a reporters camera, which he finds odd, and his eyes go dead with a slight hint of determination. A strange combination if Mickey can say so. He is so focused on those green eyes, trying to decipher what’s going on in that brain that he almost misses Ian mouth to the camera, “I need you,” immediately lifting an eyebrow right after.

  
The fuck? Need who? Jesus? More of his weird ass followers to continue his work? It doesn’t make sense and he raises a confused eyebrow of his own.

  
“Fuck.”

That’s when it hits him. Hard. This was a message. It all was, and Ian mimicking his own facial expressions just sealed the deal. Ian is speaking to him, telling him he needs him.

Mickey Milkovich is completely fucking baffled.

Fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian’s POV.  
> I’m surprised with the responses and people actually reading this.  
> I have enlisted help from a trusted friend, and this fic will be continued. I have come up with a concept that I’d love to have happen in my own world.  
> Not a writer. This is just something I’ve been inspired to do and hope to have fun with it.

As of late, Ian Gallagher has been destroying his life little by little. While he sits in the back of the police car he thinks he may have finally done it. Or hopes at least. 

No one will understand his actions, where his mind is going with all of this. Maybe he himself doesn’t even know. It’s a shot in the dark but one he needed to take. He doesn’t know how else to find him. 

No, he’s not talking about God or Jesus, or whatever. He’s trying to find the love of his life. The man who kind of destroyed his own life to give Ian a fighting chance.

The last time Ian had saw Mickey, he abandoned him unexpectedly. It was and still is the biggest mistake of his life. At the time the redhead couldn’t leave his family, but all he’s realized is that he chose to leave the right person in his family.  
Mickey is family, if he’ll still have Ian. God, he hopes Mickey will still take him back. He knows it won’t be easy and doesn’t expect to be forgiven any time soon, maybe even at all, but knowing there’s a chance for redemption is enough for now. 

Now he’s just trying to find a way back to the man, and if that meant pimping himself out to the Church of Jesus Christ, fuck it, why not.  
He’s done worse for less. 

The difference this time is that Ian doesn’t want Mickey to find him, to come to him. He wants to find Mickey. It is long overdue for him to sacrifice everything for the Milkovich because yes, Mickey deserves the world. He knows this now. 

So he’s been waiting for anything, any sign that Mick knows what is going on. A sign that he can find Mickey with. He doesn’t want the love of his life to have to start again. Refuses the thought. 

So this is how Ian Gallagher became a bit of a local celebrity. However, after today with those reporters, he’s not sure it’s local anymore. But that’s a good thing. He created enough of an uproar to attract widespread news. Maybe enough to attract the attention of Mickey fucking Milkovich. 

The cop car is put into drive and heads to the station, red and blue lights shining and sirens ringing.  
All Ian can do is smile. He did his job.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's POV.  
> A look into his life a little after the border.
> 
> ***Brief mention of attempted sexual assault but there’s no detail (not Mickey)***
> 
> I have decided to create an original character. I hope you like her and would love the feedback, good or bad.
> 
> This chapter is longer than the previous two combined...finally.  
> A special thanks to Jill for helping me with this :)

To say that Mickey was living comfortably would be an understatement.

He gets to spend his days and nights by the water, enjoying the sun, drinks, and believe it or not, sometimes the company. When they aren’t asking stupid fucking questions that is. 

For once in his life he isn’t too paranoid about the authorities. Hell, sometimes he forgets about them completely.

It’s a dream he’s never known he had.

 

It took a few months to settle into this new lifestyle, and he has never been more grateful. Yes, it would be nice to share it with someone, but now is not the time. For now he is happy. Who would have ever thought, a Milkovich, fucking happy. It’s like a foreign concept but he’s been learning to adapt to it. To allow himself to master it. Some days he feels like an entirely new person. Yes, he will still fuck you up if you cross him, will always be tough as nails, but the change is a little nice. Must be the scenery.

When Mickey first got to Mexico he was lost, and in all honesty, heartbroken. He traveled along the coast. If he wasn’t able to live out his dream with the redheaded devil, he sure as hell would at least stay by the water. That he was not going to give up. He would never admit his initial reasoning for this, but eventually the beach had become a newfound fascination for him, kept him going. The weather didn’t hurt either.

 

Mickey got lucky. He had taken up residence in a shitty shack, working odd jobs, but trying to keep it legal. Gallagher may have not come with him, but still gave him his entire savings. Mickey was going to make it count, even if it was crappy employment. It was his opportunity to start new.

 

He had been walking along the beach one night when he heard someone scream. At first he thought it to be some drunk who got herself into some dumb bullshit. He rolled his eyes and kept walking. Then he heard it again, it didn’t stop, and Mickey immediately became alert. He scanned the area, trying to detect where and whom the screams were coming from.

Once he saw her, he went into automatic and ran to help. She was fighting against her assailant, and one hell of a fight she put up. The young woman was kicking and punching, anything to win this unwanted battle. The man was trying to sexually assault her, and it made Mickey seethe.

He reached the two, ready for a fight. The brunet yanked the piece of shit off her and punched him in the face. This caused the man to falter, the perfect positioning to now knee him in the groin. Mickey got on top of the guy and punched him over and over again until they both knew he wouldn’t be able to move.

Mickey moved his face close to the predator’s with searing wrath.

“You never touch or harm a woman. It’s your lucky day, next time I’ll kill you.”

The Milkovich then raised himself from the coward. With one last look he kicked the fucker in the ribs, and spat him. He could have done worse, but he was trying to avoid the cops. Regardless, the woman was his priority. Getting to her and helping her is what mattered right now.

 

The woman must have passed out from stress or something because she was out cold. Mickey clothed what was unwillingly taken off of her, and contemplated what to do from there. She had no identification, and if she had, returning her in that state would definitely be sketchy. Not knowing what to do, he picked the girl up bridal style and brought them both back to his shack.

 

That night Mickey took care of her. He laid her on his bed, tended to her wounds, cleaned up the blood and tried to make her as comfortable as possible. He kept her fully clothed, in her own clothing, so when she woke she’d hopefully feel somewhat safe. Lastly, he left water and painkillers on the nightstand; she seemed to be a tough motherfucker but would still need it.

Mickey hardly slept that night. He watched over her, making sure she was still breathing and whatnot. The young woman was petite, had dirty blonde hair that cut off a little beneath her shoulders, and had an angelic look to her. She deserved better than what happened to her and Mickey was relieved he had been there to help her.

 

The next morning Mickey sat at the small table in his kitchen sipping his coffee. He wasn’t sure how to go about telling the woman what happened. Maybe honesty would be the best policy? Fuck. Did he really just think that.

 

A couple hours later he heard noise coming from his bedroom. He slowly approached the doorframe, not wanting to startle the woman. He didn’t say anything just yet, letting her wake up on her own.

She looked straight at him with wide green eyes, of fucking course, around the room, and back at him again.

 

“Who the fuck are you and where the fuck am I?” she demanded with a snarl.

 

“Well good morning to you too, sunshine,” he replied with snark but stayed calm.

 

He could understand why she would react this way, even if it were unexpected. He thought she’d be nicer for some reason. Looks can be deceiving though.

 

The blonde fixed him with a pointed look. She wasn’t messing around. He appreciated that. It reminded him a bit of the people he had to leave behind.

 

“Who. Are. You.” She repeated.

 

“Name’s Mickey and you are in my bed so if anyone should be making demands, it should be me.”

 

The girl looked down, a little shocked for a moment. She must not have people challenging her too often, Mickey thought.

 

“Grace,” the young woman said while looking Mickey in the eye. She was ready for a fight if needed, he could tell.

 

Mickey smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood. He liked her.

 

“I have coffee in the kitchen and can make you eggs or something. I don’t have much but it is what it is,” and exited the room.

 

A few seconds later he heard footsteps following him, and the chair being dragged on the floor, an indication that Grace had decided to join him.

 

“Okay. Lay it on me, what’s going on?” She questioned.

 

Well that was easier than Mickey thought it would be, relieved the young woman decided to speak first.

Mickey and Grace sat and discussed what happened, and she handled it well. A little shaken, but well. The girl was tough just like he thought she would be. They had lunch together, and she shared more about herself, and Mickey even disclosed some of his own information, excluding the whole fugitive situation.

Grace was incredibly grateful but didn’t make a big deal out of it, much to Mickey’s relief.

 

They stayed in one another’s company for the next week before Grace had to leave for work. Two nights before they were to part ways the two met for drinks.

 

The brunet slid into the booth across from Grace and she smiled at him.

“Took you long enough,” she teased.

He just rolled his eyes and ordered their drinks.

 

They got into conversation, as they always did. Mickey found it so easy to talk to her, he realized it was something he really needed, whether he liked it or not.

 

A little later into the night after many more drinks and comfortable silence, Grace cleared her throat and looked at the brunet.

 

“I need to speak to you about something and you better not fucking walk out on me until we discuss it,” she commanded, and in the short time he’s known her, Mickey had never seen her so serious.

 

He nodded, waiting for her to continue.

 

Grace looked at him, and while keeping intense eye contact, took a breath, and spoke.

 

“I know who you are Mikhailo Milkovich, and I don’t care what anyone says, I am going to help you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian POV  
> This chapter is key to setting up the rest of the story.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Special thanks to Jill! Without your help I would definitely be lost.

 

Silence.  
  
That’s all there’s been since the arrest.

In actuality there hasn’t been any silence, just from the person that matters most.

He really believed that it could work. Once Ian had found out just how far this “Gay Jesus” shit had spiraled in the media, he’d really hoped he’d get even the tiniest bit of information about Mickey.  
But nothing. Mickey is gone and it’s his fault. He let him go.

Since that day, Ian had been released from jail. His Jesus followers had paid his bail, and somehow found a loophole for the charges to be dropped. The only good thing to come out of that stupid situation.

As a result of no jail time, Ian was required to spend some time in a mental institution.  
He had never been happier to hear those words. Even though he knew he was fairly balanced, no way was he going to fight it. His followers had even paid for a higher-end facility, which he thought insane, but accepted it nonetheless.

So that is how he had spent the two months following his arrest. He couldn’t complain, compared to what the alternative should have been, he got lucky.

During his stay at the institution, Ian had set some goals to accomplish for when he got out.

Clearly, finding Mickey was still at the top of that list. That would not change, not for anything or anyone.

Next, he decided it was time to make amends with his family, primarily Fiona.  
She definitely hadn’t been the most pleasant to be around, but Ian knows he could have handled all of this a lot better.

  
Before the arrest she had tried to reach out to him. He remembered her coming into his room while he was thinking about Mickey, and his next move to find him. He didn’t have the time or patience and shut her down. It didn’t matter what kind of reply he gave her, she knew things between them were not okay.

After she had told Ian to drop Mickey all those months ago, he hadn’t wanted to hear anything she had to say. He didn’t want to hear her criticize the love of his life anymore. Not that her words would make a difference in his feelings and decisions this time around.

Surprisingly, Fiona had been the first to visit him during his stay. Conversation had stayed light at first; how the family was doing, sports, any small subject to pass the time.  
Regardless of her busy schedule, Fiona would make the time to visit him at least three times a week. Ian was shocked, it was unexpected but nice, and slowly they began to rebuild their relationship.  
A few weeks into his treatment, Ian had even asked Fiona to sit in on some of his sessions, which she gladly agreed to participate in. They both needed this.  
He still wouldn’t bring Mickey up around her. It was his way of protecting both Mickey and himself.

Fiona, on the other hand, knew way more than she was supposed to. It had been late one night, and Lip was drunk. The conversation took place before the “Gay Jesus” crap. He was going on about Mickey Milkovich and how he almost lost Ian forever, without even knowing about it. She didn’t understand, and grilled him a little. Not that she really needed to, he was drunk and secrets were flying out of his mouth.  
He had told her how Ian drove with Mickey to the border and almost left with him to Mexico. Lip said he didn’t know why Ian never went but that he wasn’t going to ask.

The realization hit Fiona like a ton of bricks. Ian chose to come back to his family. He left the only man she believes he’ll ever love. She was angry at him for almost putting them through that, but her heart broke a little for him. She knows how much Ian loves Mickey.

Since that day, Fiona tried to bring it up once. She had gone into the boys room one night, leading with if they were alright. She knew they weren’t, and that it wasn’t the time to ask about Mickey.  
After her selfish, and dishonest words of Mickey lighting a match on Ian’s life, she knew she had no right to bring it up. So she swallowed the subject and has been letting it sit there, hoping one day that maybe Ian will bring it up. She wants to apologize, but can’t and won’t overstep.

  
Months later, sitting next to Ian on the couch in the facility, she knows that the whole “Gay Jesus” fiasco had to do with Mickey. She could only assume since whenever Ian is asked about why he did it, he goes silent, looks at her real quick when he doesn’t think she’s paying attention, and uses one of his recycled excuses: it just happened, for the kids, I got into religion for a little while. It’s all bullshit and she knows it.

Ian has now been out of the institution for about a month and a half. He has been working for Fiona during that time, keeping it light with odd jobs like maintenance. He had the opportunity to go back to the station, but respectfully declined. He thought it best to take a long break from the fast-paced stress; he’s not quite sure why they would give him the job back to begin with.

  
Things were better, but Ian would still leave in a heartbeat the moment he found anything on Mickey. This time around he may even tell his family.

He looks for Mickey daily.  
  
He swallowed his pride and started with Svetlana. She and Ian hadn’t been in communication for a while, but thought she was his best bet at the time. Like Ian had thought, Svetlana hasn’t heard from Mickey from before he escaped.  
He then decided to move on to Mandy. She hasn’t heard from Mickey either but knows to contact him if she ever has a lead. Ian still calls her weekly to ask if there’s been any updates. She reminds him of Mickey and it helps keep him going.

He is always looking for new information. He checks Mexican news sources for anything relating to Mickey, anything he could have gotten himself involved with. He knows Mickey, the guy is keeping a low profile and will continue to.  
Hell, Ian has even checked social media. It makes him laugh, Mickey wouldn’t have anything to do with social media even before becoming a fugitive. That angle is a dead end, but he is desperate.

  
Ian was sitting on his twin bed in the middle of his hunt for Mickey when he was interrupted by Lip.

“IAN, whatever you’re doing, drop it and get your ass down here.”

Ian groaned. “I’m fucking busy, later.”  
He didn’t have time for their bullshit right now, he was two hours down the rabbit hole and he still had nothing on Mickey.

“Ian! Get down here. NOW.” Fiona yelled.

Goddamnit. He closed his laptop, careful to not lose any of his research, not that there was much anyway, and walked down the stairs to the living room to see what the fuss was all about.

He takes a seat on the couch, incredibly unamused. Fiona and Lip look like two little school girls whispering about their crush, all giddy, and it's really just pissing Ian off. He clears his throat, an indication that they better say what they need to before he walks off.

Fiona and Lip look at one another, then to Ian, and she produces a manila envelope hidden behind her back.

Ian looks at it and grabs it, a little curious to see what’s gotten them all excited.  
He checks the back and there is no return address. Odd.

“Just open it already!” Lip almost shouts, and Ian rolls his eyes.

He does so and reads the paper neatly tucked inside.

_Congratulations! You, Ian Gallagher, have won a free trip!_

Ian scoffs. He isn’t in the mood to be mocked and goes to put it down when Lip grabs it, and continues reading.

 _Many have entered but you have been chosen for an expense free trip to California. Your flight will leave on January 5th. There will be a car brought to your residence to retrieve you the morning of departure. Once again, boarding, food, transportation, and all other expenses will be paid for. This trip is not interchangeable, nor can you gift it._  
_Congratulations and we will see you soon!_

The room is silent for a few moments, giving Ian time to soak in this new information.

“I didn’t enter any fucking contest.” Ian lets out in a hoarse whisper.

He’s shocked but it quickly turns to anger. This is not funny. Whoever thought this shit up must think they are fucking hilarious. Asshole.

“But you’re going, right?” Fiona asks hesitantly.

“Of course I’m not going! That shit is fake and we all know it!”

He’s getting upset. Ian paused his search for Mickey for this load of crap. He can’t believe his siblings even called him down for this sham.

“I don’t know man. I looked up the company on the paper, its legit. Extremely legit. Airlines, restaurants, shops. It’s a multimillion dollar corporation. The company has a lot of ties.” Lip rambles.

He sits next to Ian on the couch, lights up a cigarette, and hands it to his brother who accepts it quickly.

Fiona and Lip are both looking at him expectantly as if he knows what in the hell to say so he repeats, “I didn’t enter any fucking contest.” and pulls on the cigarette.

“Look man, maybe one of those weird ass followers entered your name or something. Who knows, but you can’t deny that stranger shit has happened in the past few months,” Ian knows Lip is referring to his “Gay Jesus” stint, “and this trip is real. That I am positive on.”

He hands the stick back to Lip, wanting this conversation to be over with.

“I don’t know guys. I’ve been busy lately. I’ve been working for you Fi,” he says gesturing to her, “trying to get back into the swing of things, been doing some research,” he accidentally lets slip but keeps going. “It just isn’t a good time.”

Fiona looks at Lip and decides to go for it. It needs to be addressed. She kneels in front of Ian, grabs his hands, and tries to stay confident.

“Ian, I know you’ve been doing your research. You have been for months. I also know you haven’t found anything on him yet, you’d be long gone this time if you had.”

Ian’s eyes go wide and lowers his head, breaking the eye contact between him and his sister. Fuck. Lip must have told her. He was the only one who knew about Ian almost leaving with Mickey.

“I wont stop you this time, and I am sorry for the things I had said about him. They weren’t true. I was just scared for you. I’ve wanted to say this for a while now but didn’t think it was right of me to bring him up, especially since you avoid speaking of him completely around me.”

Fiona looks remorseful and embarrassed. It is a look that Ian never would have expected from his older sister regarding Mickey. He doesn’t want to talk about it, not now at least.

“I think you should go. It is only temporary, and you can still do your research there. No one is putting you on a schedule. The change of scenery will be nice, and it’s warm there.” She continues with a cheeky smile.

Ian looks at the manila envelope, and then to Lip and Fiona. He knows that she’s right.

“Okay. I’ll go.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a split POV.  
> The first half is Mickey's.  
> The second is Ian's.
> 
> Jill is my lifeline for this fic and she always delivers. Thank you so much for your help!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

 

As it turned out, Grace had been more important than she would have ever led on. Not only was she raised with money but opportunity. She was known, but actually pretty modest.

Mickey couldn’t lie, knowing Grace had somewhat of a status was intimidating for him. He was a runaway fugitive from the South Side of Chicago. He was well out of his depth. For reasons Mickey would never understand, she wanted to take him on.

The young woman was blunt, witty, and generally nice to be around. She knew when to push and when not to. Grace was the type of girl who would prefer to go to a mediocre bar rather than a fancy or trendy nightclub. How that came to be, Mickey didn’t know, but loved it about her.

Mickey had always thought Mandy and Ian to be platonic soulmates, and although he believed it to be cheesy as hell, he assumed Grace to be his. She wouldn’t disagree. The Milkovich was never one for friends, but Grace was different. He was her best friend, and she, his.

They were connected. The two understood each other.

Mickey guessed that was why he found it so easy to trust her. He refused her request at first, but with her help, he knew he’d be able to live a better and safer life. It was something no one could guarantee him before and she was the closest he’d come to it.

 

He also knew she would not be leaving Mexico without him. Grace made that very clear. Her help wasn’t so much a request but a demand.

 

“I know who you are Mikhailo Milkovich, and I don’t care what anyone says, I am going to help you.”

Mickey went into immediate defense.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” he snapped and went to leave the booth and bar.

She grabbed his wrist and yanked him back into position in the spot across from her.

Mickey glared at her but knew he wasn’t going to get out of this conversation. He looked at his drink and played with the glass.

“No way in hell am I letting you leave,” she scolded but then softened her tone. “Look, I realized who you were the second day we met up. I know the charges you are up against. Given how we met, you are not a bad person.”

Grace lowered her head and let out a small laugh of disbelief. “Not even close, and you should never be treated as so.”

She put her hand lightly on top of Mickey’s to attract his attention. He pulled his hand back but looked her in the eyes.

“I will not be the one to turn you in, and never will I want to. That is a guarantee.” She continued.

Mickey wanted to challenge her, but something shifted in that moment. He had never seen so much truth and determination come out of a person’s mouth. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he believed her.

The brunet gave her a single nod of understanding, silently telling Grace to continue.

“I can offer you a life you can’t and more importantly, won’t want to refuse. I ask nothing in return, just your friendship and trust in me.”

She took a deep breath and smiled at him. “So what do you say?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

In the couple of weeks leading up to Ian’s trip, life in the South Side went on as it always did. His schedule revolved around the same activities. He would wake up, take his medication, exercise, work, spend hours looking for Mickey, try to go to bed at a decent time, and repeat.

Within that time, Ian thought he found a lead on Mickey. He read a brief article about a few young men along the coast of Mexico being caught by authorities for a drug bust. Ian had been terrified and frantically looked further into the ordeal. He was able to uncover some names, but it wasn’t Mickey, and Ian was more than relieved for that.

Since his conversation with Lip and Fiona, and the truth of Mickey being brought to light, Ian assumed the topic would be put to rest. However, Fiona would sometimes ask him if he’d found anything in his research.

There wasn’t any underlying distaste detected, but genuine curiosity, and slight support. She knew how much the search meant to Ian, and accepted the fact that he would not stop looking until he found the man. Ian didn’t realize how much he needed that support. He didn’t want to talk about it in depth, of course, but being asked of his quest once in a while was nice.

 

It was a few days away from Ian’s trip and he was more uncertain than ever. He didn’t see any of the benefits, just wasted time. He realized though that he could still continue his research there, and everything else he could walk away from for awhile. He probably wouldn’t get another opportunity like this again, and it was all paid for.

Ultimately, the Gallagher clan wouldn’t let Ian miss out on the all expenses paid trip to California. With a series of encouraging threats, the redhead found himself packing a suitcase the night of January 4th. He filled it with a few change of clothes, shoes, and his laptop and notebook. He took his medication for the night and threw the bottles in with the rest of his stuff. It was all he needed.

Ian didn’t get much sleep that night. His body was buzzing and his mind was racing. He didn’t leave Chicago often, hardly at all. This trip was something he needed to do.

This was a challenge.

He decided to think about it as if he was leaving to be with Mickey, as if he had found the man he loved. With that thought process in mind, sleep took over and Ian slept through the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian goes to California.
> 
> Special thanks to Jill, as always!

 

It was finally the day. January 5th had finally come. 

The whole free trip situation was still extremely bizarre to Ian but he was doing it anyway. This was an adventure, he could do this. 

As long as he kept his “leaving to be with Mickey” mentality, he knew he’d be able to do anything. Mickey kept him going, made him feel like he could accomplish anything. Fuck. Ian missed him so much. He hated himself for abandoning him.

 

It was still fairly early in the morning, around nine o’clock. The Gallagher felt himself checking the time at least every five minutes so he hauled himself off the couch and to his suitcase to run through his checklist once again. This was probably what felt like the twentieth time going through it, so you could say he was still a little nervous. 

He had his clothing, shoes, and toiletries in his suitcase with room to spare. All expenses were paid for so he would most likely be buying items there to bring back. In his carryon he had his laptop and notebook, pill bottles, and extra prescriptions he asked his psychiatrist to write out. You never know, and just in case something happened, it was covered and one less scenario to worry about. He reorganized a little but couldn’t do much more than that. He needed a distraction.

He walked into the kitchen to sit with Lip and Fiona. They were discussing their schedules for the next few weeks to make sure things ran as smooth as possible. Ian leaving meant they had to fill in for him for a little bit, the most important being getting Liam to school. He had taken over the role naturally since he was already awake to take his medication. Ian had felt guilty but his two older siblings were more than okay with filling in. They were probably more excited about this trip than he was.

 

The three conversed for about two hours, Ian’s trip being brought back to the center of conversation most times. The two siblings had done some research of their own, recommending different shops, restaurants, and events they saw on the internet. Ian laughed but wrote down the information given, he appreciated the help and enthusiasm. He certainly didn’t bother to do any research of his own, not that kind at least.

 

Around eleven-thirty there was a knock at the door and Ian held his breath for a moment. Fiona saw Ian hesitate and went to answer the front door for him. She exchanged a few words with who he assumed to be the driver and gestured to Ian.

This was it, time to leave. He looked at Lip who gave him a reassuring smile and pulled him into a hug.

“Have the time of your life man.” Lip said and they broke the embrace. The two walked to the door and Fiona grabbed Ian to pull him into a bear hug.

“I’ll miss you but you’re going to have so much fun. Let me know when you get there so I know you’re safe”, and Ian nodded in confirmation. Before she could let go she teasingly whispered, “Maybe you’ll love it so much you won’t even want to come back.”

The redhead pulled back and raised his eyebrows. “I still have things to handle here, you know that.”

“I know, I know,” she relented and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Lip grabbed his younger brother’s suitcase, carry-on, and wallet and handed it to Ian. “Now go get some sun, you’re way too fucking pale” and the siblings sent him on his way.

 

Ian followed the driver who took his suitcase to put in the car. He took his spot in the back seat and waited for the man to make his way to the drivers seat.

Ian rubbed his sweaty palms in his jeans and looked out the window to his older siblings on the front porch.

 

“We love you,” they managed to say in unison causing Ian laugh and relax a bit. He rolled down the window and yelled “I love you too”. Not even a minute later the car was put in drive and Ian was on his way to the airport. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

This trip involved a lot of firsts for Ian. For starters, he had never been on a plane before, much less first class. He watched as the plane descended and hit the ground. The four and a half hour trip surprisingly flew by, no pun intended. He shoved his carry-on items in his bag, shot a text to Fiona saying he arrived, and waited until instructed to disembark. About ten minutes later he was free to go and followed the tunnel into LAX.

 

He’d never been there before so he trailed the crowd that he hoped would lead him to baggage claim. With that, he found the area fairly easy and went to use the restroom since the luggage hadn’t been unloaded yet. When he was done, he returned to the baggage carousel, which was now in full swing dispersing bags. He wasn’t having much luck and briefly looked around the crowded airport until his eyes caught a man holding a sign with his name on it. 

Now that is something Ian would have never believed could happen to him. The guy had his suitcase as well. The redhead made his way toward the man wearing all black, similar to the one who picked him up from his house. He could only assume this man was also a driver. 

“Hi, um, I’m Ian Gallagher. Nice to meet you.” And held his hand out to shake the guy’s hand. The man smiled and accepted the greeting. Ian went to grab his suitcase but was shot a disapproving look, and Ian let it go, following him out the airport. 

 

They took the short walk to the parking lot and the man unlocked the trunk of the car to load Ian’s suitcase. Ian was stunned as a Rolls-Royce Phantom was parked right before his eyes. He almost didn’t want to get into the back seat, feeling completely unworthy of such luxury. He inched closer in awe until he heard a throat being cleared. He looked up and saw that the man had opened the door for him, signaling that it was time to stop gawking and get in the damn car.

The Gallagher did just that and within minutes they were on the road. He gazed out the window, taking in the palm trees and sunny skies. He missed the warm weather. It was crazy to think that just a few hours ago he had been enduring the snow and Chicago wind. Halfway through the drive the man in the front spoke up. 

“Mr. Gallagher, my name is Mr. Kellher, and I will be your driver for the duration of your stay. If you are in need of anything I am only a phone call away. I have it with me at all times, and no matter the time of day, no call will be unanswered. We will be arriving at the hotel in approximately twenty minutes,” the man reached over to the passenger seat to reveal a blue folder, and handed it to Ian. “In this folder is instructions and information to guide you. There are recommendations for shops, events, restaurants, anything you may need. There is also a credit card for your, as promised, all expenses paid trip. Please do not lose it.”

“I-I won’t, uh, thank you,” Ian managed to say, completely tongue-tied. 

 

The rest of the ride remained fairly quiet other than the traffic, and a quick phone call between Mr. Kellher and someone named Veglia. They pulled up to a large and gorgeous hotel. He didn’t want to know how much a night in this place would cost, it would surely intimidate him, as if he wasn’t already. He made sure to have all his belongings, and the suitcase was given to a bellboy. Mr. Kellher went with Ian to check him in before the two parted ways and the redhead moved to catch up with the hotel worker. 

The room was spacious, and just as beautiful as the rest of the hotel. He looked around the room for about an hour, taking in the lavishness of it all. He debated on walking around and exploring, but ended up on the bed instead. He was overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion. It was four in the afternoon so Ian decided to lie down and sleep for a few hours before getting dinner. 

 

How could he not, this bed was the definition of heaven.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's POV.  
> Things will pick up soon, I promise!
> 
> Thank you Jill for everything. You are truly fabulous.

 

Mickey was outside relaxing on his balcony. It was his favorite place to be. The balcony overlooked the ocean and it was where he felt most at peace.

His condo was exquisite. It was the kind of place only the rich could afford, but Grace was exactly that. It did take some time getting used to.  
  
Grace wanted him to have the best, no exceptions. He protested but ultimately couldn’t fight the woman who was gifting him a whole new life.

Mickey, being from the South Side, was naturally against handouts. He had to alter his thinking but over time realized that Grace wasn’t doing this to pity him. She loved him, and wanted her best friend by her side. The only way she knew how to do that was by helping him.  
  
The Milkovich also realized that he was tired of being alone. Having her around was really good for him. He finally had someone to confide in and someone to worry about him. The brunet never thought he’d want that, but now that he did, he didn’t plan on letting it go any time soon. He was living a happy and healthy life.

  
  
He was nodding off when he heard the screen door open. Mickey wasn’t worried, didn’t even open his eyes. He knew the only person able to get in, other than himself, would be Grace. When she set up Mickey’s new home, top-notch security was first on her checklist. They would both be alerted if anyone were to break in, unless it was one of them.  
  
She slid into the chair next to him. They sat there in comfortable silence enjoying the sunshine and sound of the waves crashing.  
  
The young woman spoke almost an hour later.

  
“So, how’s your day been?”  
  
He chuckled lightly, but kept his eyes closed and continued to bask in the sunlight. “I know that’s not what you want to ask me, but if you really insist on starting with bullshit, it’s been a very lovely and relaxing day.”  
  
Grace punched him on the arm, and fuck could she throw a punch. “Asshole.” She laughed as Mickey lowered his sunglasses a bit to give her a playful glare.  
  
It had been two months since Mickey saw Ian on the news. That meant it had been two months since Grace had disregarded the subject, but he knew that wouldn’t last forever. He’d been waiting for her restraint to expire.  
  
The two of them had discussed Ian a fair amount earlier in their friendship, but not since the “Gay Jesus” fuckery. Mickey found it very therapeutic, much to his surprise. Anyone who knew him strongly agreed that Mickey didn’t like to dive into intense subjects, feelings, or overall conversation, but for Grace he would.  
  
“Go on, ask. I know you’ve been waiting.” He said, breaking the ice.  
  
“He didn’t go to jail. Apparently he was in a mental facility for the past two months, but he’s alright.” She saw Mickey flinch, knowing his mind was wandering back to the time he visited Ian in the hospital himself. “He went to a fancy, high-end facility. He received a pretty hefty donation to make it happen. The guy was in very good hands. His room was probably even nicer than the one he has at his house.” She said with a reassuring and cocky smile. The girl knew Ian’s mental state could be a rough topic for the South Sider.  
  
“I’m assuming that ‘donation,’” he air-quoted, “came from the person sitting right next to me, huh?” He stated knowingly.  
  
“Maybe. I wouldn’t say the entire donation but I won’t deny it.”  
  
Mickey rolled his eyes from beneath his glasses. “Thank you,” he said gratefully after staying quiet for a few moments.  
  
She grabbed his hand and squeezed, a silent “no problem.”  
  
“If you had the chance, would you ever want to see him again?”  
  
She knew Mickey wouldn’t give her the real answer, but that didn’t matter. The blonde knew what that answer was. If Mickey could see Ian again, a part of him would be returned.  
  
Mickey could live his life happily without Ian, and he was. However, Grace knew for a fact that he would never love anyone like he loved Ian, and she wanted him to have that love. It was important for her to see Mickey complete, and Ian Gallagher was the last piece of the puzzle. She would do anything to give Mickey that chance.  
  
The brunet stared ahead and watched the waves move back and forth. He could be vulnerable with Grace, and she expected no less. Her exterior was as tough as his own, but they could provide one another with that honesty.  
  
“He left me. Even if I were to see him again, he’d leave. It would be temporary. He has his life there. His people and job and shit. He’s moved on, but I have too in some ways.”  
  
Grace could read between the lines. Mickey may not have been able to say it, but she knew he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle Ian leaving him again. She could understand that; having someone you love that much walk away again would be devastating.

  
Mickey may not have been on the run anymore, but he wasn’t naive. Ian would still have to give up his life if he wanted to be with Mickey, and clearly Gallagher wasn’t able to do that. What would be any different the second time around? It was a rabbit hole he couldn’t allow himself to fall into.

  
  
The conversation died out after that, and the two laid back to enjoy the rest of the daylight.

  
  
“Want to go to the bar tonight? Some drinks, food, maybe heckle some of the workers into a game of pool?” She suggested.  
  
Mickey smiled wide. This is why the young woman was his best friend.  
  
“Grace, you read my fucking mind.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's POV.  
> Ian makes a new friend, and meets the person responsible for his free trip.
> 
> All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
> 
> Jill edited the hell out of this and I cannot thank her enough. Thank you so much!

 

The weather in California was unreal. It was sunny almost all the time, no crazy winds, and although much fluctuation wasn’t present, there was a comfort behind it. It reminded Ian of what could have been if he followed through on going south of the border.  
  
The only downfall to the trip was the lack of company. Ian didn’t mind being on his own but in a place so foreign to him, it could be a little unsettling.

 

The day of his arrival, he opted to stay in. By the time he’d woken up from his doze, it was almost seven at night, so he ordered room service from one of the hotel’s restaurants. Ian unpacked his toiletries, pills, and changed into comfortable clothes in the meantime. A little later the food was delivered, and he ate his dinner while mindlessly watching tv.

Before calling it a night, the redhead took his meds, grabbed his laptop and notebook and spread out on the bed to get some work done. He only fell asleep when he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.

 

The second day he called Mr. Kellher for a ride. It was a beautiful day and he was dying to see the beach. They stopped off at a store beforehand so Ian could buy a couple pairs of boardshorts, a beach towel, and other necessary items.

Once there, the redhead went for a run in the sand before stumbling upon a small crowd in the middle of a surfing lesson. Ian pulled his phone out to find the nearest business, and two hours later was in his own group of beginners. He had his ass kicked, but decided to come back and take another lesson in the next few days. It was exhilarating, and made him feel alive.

The sun was to set soon and the redhead’s stomach was growling. Not wanting to sit and eat alone, he called Mr. Kellher. It may have been a bit of an ambush, but the man relented, and suggested one of his favorite Mexican restaurants a few blocks down.

The men ended up with way too much food, having ordered four different dishes, but as Mr. Kellher promised, were all delicious.

 

Ian also got to know more about his new acquaintance.

Jason Kellher was thirty years old. He had other work but would help out the boss when needed, hence why he was chauffeuring Ian around. The blonde grew up in a South Side equivalent environment before a family found him at just shy of eighteen years old. He was running from the law and with the help and encouragement of these people, doors to a whole new way of life were opened. Jason didn’t go back to the Bronx often, but when he did, he said it reminded him of how far he had come.

Ian really respected the man, and was happy to have someone to share a good meal and conversation with.

 

Once Ian was back in his hotel room he got out his laptop and notebook, but this time decided to start from scratch. The redhead had been at a standstill with information for a while now, and his conversation with Jason Kellher was giving him new ideas and angles to explore.

A couple hours later, Ian took his pills and got ready for bed. He had been riding the high of a great day, but he was exhausted, and was out like a light less than twenty minutes later.

 

* * *

 

On the third day, the Gallagher went to the hotel’s café for breakfast. He ordered an omelet with bacon, fruit, and toast on the side. He took his morning meds and sipped on his coffee and orange juice while he waited. He hadn’t really talked to his siblings since he left Chicago, but brought his laptop with him to skype Fiona.

 

She picked up on the third ring, all smiles.

 

“Hey Fi.” 

“Well look who finally decided to call!” she smirked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll try to update you more.” He said.

“Don’t be silly Ian, I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

 

He could understand that, and made a mental note to at least check in with her daily by text.

The two talked while Ian ate his breakfast. He was updated on the rest of the family, and they were all doing well. It made him happy to hear that they were all working on their own personal milestones. He told her about his surfing lesson, and Jason Kellher. The redhead even mentioned how Jason’s story provided him with brand new eyes on his search for Mickey.

Fiona was genuinely excited for Ian. He looked brighter, alive even. It was something she unfortunately couldn’t give him, which killed her, so seeing him like that made her feel alive too. She hadn’t told Ian, but she and Lip began searching for Mickey in their free time. They both agreed that Ian was happiest when with the Milkovich, and at the end of the day, the two just wanted him smiling and lively. Mickey made Ian feel alive, his lifeline. Fiona and Lip may not have been able to find much, if anything at all, but they wanted to help now. It was what was best for their little brother.

 

Ian ended the skype call about an hour later, went to his room to return his laptop, and grabbed his belongings for the day. He called Mr. Kellher, who would be at the hotel to retrieve him shortly.

 

This time around Ian didn’t have to ambush the driver to come along for the days activities. They were now on a first name basis, which was preferable. The redhead was excited to have made a friend on this trip, especially one he could relate to.

 

Before leaving Chicago, Ian had secretly gathered the family’s clothing and shoe sizes. He wanted to buy them all at least three new outfits. The weather was partly cloudy so it seemed to be the perfect day to do a little shopping.

The two men walked into many high-end boutiques and designer stores. Ian was mystified, but felt lucky that he was able to do this for them. He bought each of the siblings dress clothes and shoes to wear to special events, job interviews or any other important occasions. Fiona and Lip being older, the redhead felt two professional outfits were necessary.

He then got them all casual, but still fancy, everyday clothing. Between the jeans, sweaters, blouses, suits, shoes, etc., Ian had racked up a pretty hefty bill. Thank god this was all cost-free for him. Jason seemed so comfortable in these high-end stores, and Ian wondered what kind of family had taken him in to make that switch. The man even knew a lot of the workers by name.

 

The two got a late lunch at another of Mr. Kellher’s recommended restaurants. They went for Thai, and once again, it didn’t disappoint. Ian had never had Thai before, and couldn’t wait to see what other options Jason had up his sleeve. This time the redhead shared about his life growing up on the South Side, his five siblings, and even briefly mentioned Mickey. Mickey seemed to peak the blonde’s interest, but Ian didn’t elaborate much, given his love was now a fugitive.

 

After a little more shopping and dessert, Jason dropped Ian off at his hotel. There was still a decent amount of daylight left, so Ian put on his workout clothes and new sneakers and went for a run. A few miles later, his heart was pumping and his head was clear. He felt good, and retired to his room to take a shower.

 

The last thing to do for the day was get some research done. Ian ordered room service and spread out all of the papers and notes he had on Mickey. There were different documents scattered on the floor, bed and he stood in the middle of it all, figuring out where to go from there.

A half hour later Ian was on his computer, eating his dinner, and going through different news articles, when he heard a knock on the door. Clearly, there wasn’t company to be expected so he rose from his spot and answered the door.

 

On the other side was a young woman, probably a couple years older than himself, with a big smile on her face. She was beautiful, very put together, and full of light.

 

“Hello, my name is Ms. Veglia. I am co-owner of the company that has provided you with the trip here.” She put her hand out in greeting, which he returned.

 

“Yes, hi, I’m Ian Gallagher, it’s nice to meet you. Please, come in.”

 

She sauntered into the room, and took a spot on the sofa, waiting for Ian to take a seat as well.

 

Ian sat in the armchair across from her and continued, “thank you so much for this opportunity Ms. Veglia. Never in a million years would I have imagined something like this happening.”

 

“My pleasure, and if there is anything else we can do to improve your stay, just say the word.” and Ian nodded in understanding.

 

“Now Mr. Gallagher,” she continued, “as you know, this trip is free of cost and I would love for you to take advantage of that. If you would join me for lunch tomorrow to discuss some of the other opportunities we can provide you with, that would be great. It is up to you, of course.”

 

Ian was a little stunned, he couldn’t understand how there could be even more added to this already perfect vacation.

 

“Yes, sure. I would love to accompany you for lunch. What time should I be ready by? And you may call me Ian, no need to be formal.”

 

"Mr. Kellher will be here at one o'clock to –” she paused, the thought abandoned when something caught her attention. “May I ask what you are working on?”

 

Ian froze. Fuck. He forgot to cover up his work. Articles, handwritten notes, and pictures of Mickey were lying all over the floor and bed, basically begging to be looked at.

 

“Oh, um. I’m just trying to find someone. I messed up and we lost touch so I’m doing what I can I guess.” He rambled and she let it go, much to his relief.

 

“Well I wish your search well Mr. Galla – I mean Ian. I will see you tomorrow for lunch and Mr. Kellher will be here at one.” She stood and shook Ian’s hand once again before heading toward the door.

 

Ian followed, opening the door for her. Once she stepped into the hallway, Ian remembered something.

 

“Excuse me, Ms. Veglia,” Ian called after her, “I never got your first name.”

  
  
She turned to look at him and chuckled.

 

“It’s Grace. It was very nice to meet you and I will see you soon.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's POV.  
> Ian goes to lunch and makes a life-changing decision.
> 
> Special thanks to Jill for staying up till ridiculous hours of the morning editing this with me. You are a saint.

 

 

It was Ian’s fourth day in California and he had a lunch date with Ms. Grace Veglia that afternoon.

He got up early and took his morning dosage along with a granola bar before going on a run. He’d been meaning to check out the hotel’s gym, but the weather was too beautiful to even consider staying inside. Being outdoors was probably healthier for him anyway.

The Gallagher had some pent-up energy that he converted into six miles, and dragged himself back to his room and into the shower. Ian wasn’t quite sure why he was nervous. Ms. Veglia herself told him the lunch was just a chance to inform him of the other opportunities at his disposal. That was all. Maybe it had been her demeanor? The young woman was so composed and it must have intimidated him.

 

He knew this wasn’t a test or interview but couldn’t help but treat it as one. Ian went through his suitcase and settled on a new outfit he had purchased the previous day. He dressed in a beige button-up, black skinny jeans, leather dress boots, and slicked his hair back before crossing to the full-length mirror. He looked damn good and it helped calm the nerves a bit.

With an hour to waste before Mr. Kellher’s arrival, Ian thought it best to do a little research on the woman he would be spending the afternoon with. He sat on the sofa scrolling through different articles and gathered that Grace was a twenty-six year old businesswoman and philanthropist. He kept it at that, one o’clock was nearing, and Ian was more interested in hearing from the young woman herself, if he’d be lucky enough for her to share.

 

He took one last look in the mirror, grabbed his leather jacket, wallet, and sunglasses and exited the room and hotel. He bid Jason a good afternoon and slid into the back seat. They made small talk that simmered into a comfortable silence not long after. He threw on his sunglasses and zoned out the rest of the drive, alternating between staring out the window, and laying his head back and resting his eyes.

 

 

The car eventually came to a full stop and Ian was met with a spectacular, and clearly private, marina. The redhead’s tics must have been evident because Jason cleared his throat, breaking Ian from his thoughts. 

 

“No need to be nervous. She’s not so scary,” he mused causing the South Sider to laugh and loosen up a little.

 

They got out of the car and walked toward the dock, Ian trailing behind Jason, surrounded by superb yachts with fancy names. He was unable to fathom how this could be the norm for some people. Thankfully the two loaded a more modest, but still extravagant, boat and walked forward till they reached one of the seating areas.

 

Grace was sitting cross-legged on the couch, phone to her ear, when she heard the two enter the space. Despite her professional attire, she looked relaxed and at home. The girl flashed Jason a brilliant smile and held up her index finger, indicating the call was coming to a close, and a few moments later had her arms tightly wrapped around the man. She gave Mr. Kellher a kiss on the cheek and whispered into his ear.

Ian observed the interaction and it was clear as day that the two were close. It wasn’t an employer/employee relationship, but much deeper. Jason and Grace had a history, regarding what Ian didn’t know, but it was undeniable. The man disappeared after the embrace and Grace came to stand in front of Ian.

 

“I am so glad you have chosen to join me for lunch today. Please, have a seat,” she said and gestured to the couches she was just occupying.

 

The redhead took the couch across from her and made himself comfy. Within minutes a waitress was bringing them glasses of cold water and menus. He ordered the Roasted Atlantic Wild Salmon, wanting to try something new, and she got the Blackened Yellowfin Tuna before it was just the two of them again.

Ian’s nerves were back, and he took some deep breaths trying to slow his racing heart. He thought that Jason would be joining them and it caught him off guard when his new friend didn’t return.

 

Grace must have noticed and prompted with a simple, “how has your day been so far, Ian?”

The use of his first name was a relief. It was one less formality to fixate over, and in no time they were getting to know one another, an easy dynamic in the works.

 

They moved to the dining area once the food was prepared and table set, before digging in. Ian’s mouth was watering; the fish was excellent, and he left nothing behind on his plate. He was so calm, he hadn’t realized that they abandoned the marina ages ago and now harbored further in the ocean.

Ian excused himself from the table once their meals were devoured and walked to the end of the yacht to look out into the sun-kissed water.

 

“Incredible, isn’t it?” Ian could only nod in amazement. “You see that large cruise ship all the way over there?” she asked, pointing in the distance.

Ian blocked the sun with his hand to get a better view of the vessel mentioned.

 

“I spend a lot of my time there. I run it, and it’s one of the company’s branches I dote on most. I find living on the water calming, and hope to bring that same feeling of peace to every single one of our patrons.”

Ian didn’t say anything but Grace knew she had his full attention and continued.

 

“We stop at different destinations to let our guests get off the ship and explore the area however they chose. We provide trips to Hawaii, Mexico, Alaska, Europe, some even travel the entire world.”

 

Grace noticed Ian’s head snap up at the mention of Mexico, but went on with her speech.

 

“I’m currently looking for new hires, part of the reason I’m in California actually. It’s been endless interviews for store clerks, chefs, medics, lifeguards, etc. The process has taken longer than I expected this time around but it’ll be worth it to obtain the perfect staff… anyway, that’s not why I mention it. As I told you, we have other opportunities for you to take advantage of, the cruise being one of them. It wasn’t advertised on the original documentation, but we would love to have you on board if you chose to come along on one of the trips.”

 

Ian’s head was spinning and formulating ideas faster than he could keep up. “You said there’s a destination stop in Mexico?” was the only thought he could manage to utter.

 

Ms. Veglia hid her smile, schooling her features into a neutral expression. “Yes, I did. The cruise will be leaving in two days. I understand it’s short notice but is this something that would interest you?”

 

“Absolutely,” Ian rushed out, unable to hide his excitement.

This was his chance to try and find Mickey, not just look up articles upon articles of worthless information. Being in Mexico would provide him with a fighting chance, or at least he hoped.

 

“Great! I’ll secure a room for you. We’ll be happy to have you.”

 

Ian smiled at her.

The pair settled into a comfortable silence and continued to stand at the bow of the yacht, soaking in the sunrays. Ian knew he shouldn’t have asked, but his curiosity got the best of him.

 

“Ms. Veglia, I apologize for such a personal question but I was wondering about your relationship to Mr. Kellher. It seems as if you two have known one another for a while now, and uh, well he told me of this family who helped him when he was having some trouble with the law and I guess I was wondering if you were a part of that family?”

 

She smirked, interested in seeing where the guy would go with this.

 

“You can call me Grace, and yes. I am a part of the family who helped him. Jason and I have a complex relationship. I have an immense amount of respect for him, and can count on him for anything. He’s my rock and I love him.

 

The way the young woman’s face lit up when talking of Jason Kellher made Ian emotional. He could tell that Grace loved the man more than anything in the world, and pictured her entire future with him. It was beautiful.

Maybe it was the reminder of the docks, the mentions of Mexico, or the look of true love on Grace’s face when she spoke of Jason, but in that moment Ian became determined, he was going to do anything to find Mickey. He took a breath and gave it a shot.

 

“Grace, I appreciate everything you have done for me thus far, but I do have a favor to ask. I hope I’m not overstepping but if you had any open positions on your ship, I would really like to send in my resume.”

 

She looked at him with challenge in her eyes. “What could you do for me?”

 

“Well, I would be happy to do anything honestly. I’ll do clean up or stock equipment, or take a job most people wouldn’t bother with. I do also have experience with bartending, I was an EMT for a while, and could take the lifeguarding test no problem. If there is even the slightest chance, whatever position you need filled, I can train to make that happen.”

 

Grace thought, letting Ian sweat out his request for a bit.

 

“Well, I do need more EMTs,” she reasoned, “and you would be okay with this, living on a ship? This isn’t a job you can just walk away from; you’ll be living there full-time. Are you prepared to leave your family for that?”

 

All Ian could think about was Mickey, and Mickey was family to Ian. There was no other answer than yes.

“I am fully committed to living at sea. No doubt in my mind.”

 

She smiled at him, one more burning question left to ask.

 

“Why? Why would you be willing to leave your family and start over? It’s a question I ask everyone during the interview process. Your entire life will change and your answer is my way of making sure you’ll be able to handle that.”

 

Ian chose not to hold back. He couldn’t if he was going to make this happen. Without breaking eye contact, he sent out a silent prayer, and hoped his answer would be good enough for Grace.

 

“Yesterday I briefly mentioned how I lost touch with someone due to my own mistakes. I have been looking for him for over a year now, but like Jason was, he’s in some shit with the authorities. Last I knew he was in Mexico. Mickey is the love of my life and being able to work for you would give me the opportunity to physically look for him on my time off. I know my reasoning for wanting the job is selfish, and I don’t know if he would ever forgive me or take me back but this could be my best shot at finding out. I need to at least try.”

 

“What will you do when you find him?”

 

“After fulfilling my obligation to you and your company, I would stay with him,” quietly mumbling that he would never leave again.

 

Grace fixed her gaze straight ahead on the beautiful clear skies and ship ahead of them. She nodded in understanding.

 

“Ian Gallagher, you got the job.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace's POV.  
> I had a lot of difficulty with this chapter. I didn’t feel right making it a Mickey or Ian POV but it ultimately revolves around them.  
> It’s a transitional chapter that explains how we got to this point so we can move on with the journey.  
> I know not everyone loves original characters but it was important for this part of the story to be told through Grace.
> 
> A thousand thank yous to the incredible Jill for spending days editing this with me. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

 

The first thing you need to know about Grace Veglia is that she doesn’t come from a perfect family.

When she was four years old, her mother was arrested and sent to prison. It was during this period of incarceration that Grace learned how fine the line between _good and bad_ really is.

Her mother, like Mickey and Jason, grew up in a South Side environment. Going to prison was something Mrs. Veglia always expected, she knew the past would catch up with her eventually. What the woman didn’t account for was having a loving husband and two children, which ultimately devastated her.

The family took the situation in stride instead of letting it destroy them. They visited multiple times a week until her mom’s release twelve years later.

Over time, some of the women in prison had become family to not only her mother, but also the rest of the Veglias. Incarcerated or free, to this day the family still keeps in touch with these women.

Ms. Veglia’s experience altered her perception of what society considers dangerous. She learned everyone has their reasons, and that most of these decisions come from a place of fear, love and devotion.

Grace believes that not everyone deserves the fate they have been given.

 

The second thing you need to know about Grace Veglia is that she’s smart.

She is a businesswoman, leading her to be socially and intellectually adept. The woman is meticulous and knows how to use it to her advantage. This skill helps her read situations, and the people in them. She recognizes when to drop keywords, and when to withhold information.

The girl is strategic, able to draw you in and help guide you to a decision, but leave you thinking it was your idea all along.

She will mostly likely always be at least one step ahead of you.

This is why at twenty-six years old, Grace has become a mogul in the business world. She is someone to be feared but heavily respected.

 

The third thing you need to know about Grace Veglia is that she’s not only a cutthroat business woman, but a protector.

She is a philanthropist, naturally making her empathetic and aware. The woman is altruistic. Ms. Veglia is charitable but selective of who she chooses to allow into her life.

She will protect what and who is important to her, and won’t let anyone near until they have earned the right.

Grace Veglia looks out for the people in her life and will do everything in her power to see to what’s best for the people she loves.

 

The ferocity, loyalty, and compassion she possesses is within Mickey as well. It was what drew her to him initially. Their first encounter was definitely unconventional but so were most introductions with the people she cares for most.

She immediately recognized that Mickey looked familiar, but couldn’t pinpoint it until the following day. Most people would have been terrified and gone to the authorities, but Grace felt safe with Mickey.

Yes, she understood that she had only known the man for a little more than a day, and although she isn’t too trusting of others, there was something about the brunet she couldn't overlook. Mickey gave her the same feeling Jason had, and Jason is one of the most amazing people she’s ever met.

Mickey was a good person, that was indisputable.

The young woman already had a plan formulating, and was going to help him.

 

Grace knew Mickey Milkovich was going to be in her life for a long fucking time.

 

* * *

 

The first month of knowing Mickey was interesting, to say the least.

When she originally proposed her plan to Mickey, he had enough faith in her to know he would be safe. As expected, the idea was fought at first, and Grace bluntly reminded the brunet that if her intent was to fuck him over he’d be in the hands of authorities by now. The statement eliminated any future dispute or doubt.

They could trust one another, but the question that kept the new friends at arm’s length was why.

For Mickey, it was why this wealthy and successful young woman would help a fugitive running from an attempted murder charge.

For Grace it was why she so desperately wanted to do anything in her power to help a man she just met.

Although Mickey was receptive most of the time, she wasn't surprised to find the brunet closed off about specifics or certain aspects of his life.

Grace understood that, she had her own skeletons and vulnerabilities she’d prefer to keep to herself.

Both were alright with the secrecy and tended to keep conversation light.

 

However, a month had passed and though the two got along just fine, Ms. Veglia concluded she’d need to disclose details first for them to move forward.

They sat on Mickey’s balcony drinking beer and talking shit when Grace decided to go with the straightforward approach.

“Alright Mickey, here’s the deal. You and I are going to talk, and I mean really talk, which includes feelings, the past and all that bullshit we both hate. You’re clearly important to me and I know that I’m important to you too. You don't have to like it, but it's going to happen. I’m not going to completely ambush you, so I’ll start today, but this is a warning to prepare yourself. No more fucking around for either of us. Agreed?”

Mickey didn't even have to look at her to know he would never win this battle, and part of him didn't want to. Grace would be around for the rest of his life, and more importantly he wanted her to be. The Milkovich wanted her to know him so he conceded and let go of any objections he had been thinking.

 

That prompted the pair’s first serious discussion, apart from the fugitive reveal.

From that day on, Mickey’s balcony became their sanctuary and where they'd have all important future conversations.

It wasn’t always simple; more often than not it was like pulling teeth, especially for Grace, but ultimately rewarding. They got past the uncertainty, and these talks naturally became a regular occurrence.

Soon they knew one another like the back of their hands.

The good, the bad, and the ugly were all out there and they only loved and respected each other more for it.

 

* * *

 

About three weeks after their one month discussion, Mickey met Jason Kellher.

Grace didn’t want to introduce her partner until the South Sider was informed of who he was and his story.

Knowing Jason had once been in a similar situation really helped Mickey. The brunet had been wary of meeting new people for obvious reasons, but with Jason he was able to let his guard down.

The two men became great friends, much to Grace’s delight.

Despite all the progress made, one topic Mickey never mentioned was Ian Gallagher. He may have told stories involving the redhead, but referred to him only as his sister’s best friend. The description wasn't a lie, but definitely not the full truth.

Mickey created as much possible distance between him and Ian. With the reality of the situation, detaching himself was the best way he knew how to deal.

The wound was still fairly fresh.

However, meeting Jason was what triggered Mickey to tell the truth about Ian.

 

It was two weeks after meeting Jason that Grace and Mickey were on the balcony having drinks and sharing a joint.

She always had an inkling that Mickey was leaving out a crucial part of his life and believed it involved the sister’s best friend. Mickey hid his pain well, but Grace knew him well enough by then to know differently.

When the brunet would talk about the guy, his words were full of passion and pride, but his face told a different story. Mickey’s eyes would fill with hurt and despair midway through his sentences. It was like he was reliving the good times, only for the pain to rear its head like a slap in the face.

The memories were a plague the Milkovich couldn't escape and it infuriated Grace to know that someone could break a part of her tough as fuck best friend.

That night, the young woman had been talking about nightclubs as a possible business investment when Mickey had let loose that his sister’s best friend used to work at one of those seedy clubs in Boystown. He got a little angry and the admission was enough to solidify her assumption that Ian was a pivotal part of Mickey’s life, not just his sister’s friend.

She decided to pry and ask if they had once been involved, and the brunet fell silent but nodded.

Mickey looked completely heartbroken so Grace let the topic go for the time being.

 

To her surprise, the guy was mentioned only a few days later, and by Mickey’s own doing. No longer was he referred to as the sister’s best friend, but by his name, Ian Gallagher. From there it was like a dam had broken.

The information didn't come all at once, but it seemed that Mickey couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. The pain he internalized over the redhead had really started to eat at him, but now he finally had someone to listen.

Grace could see how difficult it was for Mickey to talk about Ian and let him work at his own pace. Details started out slow, but eventually Ian would be discussed in depth. As the weeks and months went on, the hurt started to subside a little and Mickey didn't feel the need to dwell as much on what went wrong, instead focusing more on the happy memories.

When Grace met Jason, she knew he was it for her, and Ian was it for Mickey. No matter how much the Milkovich healed or how happy he was, it was evident her best friend would alway feel like he was missing a piece of himself.

Mickey’s pain devastated her and, being the person she was, she wanted to find a way to patch up what was torn.

Setting Mickey up with someone else was out of the question. It would’ve never worked and ultimately wouldn't have been fair to the brunet or the person she’d introduce him to.

Mickey was in deep with this Ian Gallagher and a replacement just wouldn’t do. 

Grace was going to have to get crafty, and maybe even a little conniving to make this happen.

 

By then, Ian was in the very early stages of his “Gay Jesus” bullshit, and it didn’t look like anyone was planning on stopping him. So, she enlisted help from a couple trusted associates in Chicago and they joined Ian’s cause to keep tabs on him.

The informants would report back to her daily, regardless if there was no new information. Although she had Mickey’s word on who the redhead was, Grace wanted to learn as much as possible about the person Ian was since he had left Mickey.

One thing her sources repeatedly mentioned was that something seemed off about the guy. Not a creep-like vibe, but more secretive and the motivations for his new new role as “Gay Jesus” were difficult to determine. The two also reported that Ian seemed distant and sad, and always on the defense, especially toward his older sister Fiona.

Early on, Mickey disclosed that Ian was bipolar, which she passed along to her associates, but even then they didn't think Ian was too unbalanced, if at all.

The informants would relay bits of knowledge on the redhead, but the process was mainly stagnant without anything eventful to operate off of.

 

That is until Ian Gallagher went and got himself arrested.

 

From that point on, Grace’s plan was pretty solid. She secretly helped Mr. Gay Jesus work around his legality issues, and ultimately got the police to settle on two months in a psychiatric hospital. The blonde may not have been too fond of the guy who fucked over her best friend, but Mickey loved him, so she got Ian a spot in a top-notch mental health facility.

Ms. Veglia, having paid for the treatment, was made aware when Ian was released and gave him time to settle back into his own routine, now free from the Church of Gay Jesus. She needed him to be ready before implementing the next step of her plan.

That is where the trip to California came into play. Grace and Jason both wanted to meet the Gallagher, and this was their best way of doing that without involving Mickey.

Clearly, the contest was never real and the trip was specifically designed for Ian, but they needed a way to get close to him without raising suspicion. There were only two possible outcomes to this, Ian would either come to California or he wouldn’t, but with everything being paid for, the businesswoman couldn't see him rejecting the offer.

Ian didn’t turn down the offer, and the next part of the plan was set into motion.

 

* * *

 

Grace didn’t want just anyone handling Ian, and Jason was more than ready to play the part of Mr. Kellher, the driver.

He, like Grace, wasn't so keen on the redhead, but once they met, Ian wasn’t who he expected. He was softer and frankly less of an asshole than Jason thought he’d be.

The man knew if he played his cards right that he would be able to pry into Ian’s life, and he was successful.

He was lucky enough that Gallagher initiated the lunch, so the blonde went ahead and set the discussion. There were similarities he could play off of, such as his shitty South Side equivalent background, and like Mickey, running from the law - which got Ian’s attention immediately.

The next day, Ian opened up about himself, his family, and -unexpectedly- Mickey. It was something Jason didn’t anticipate, but nonetheless was kind of happy about.

Ian never said the Milkovich was a fugitive, not wanting to give away detrimental information, but by Gallagher's demeanor and tone, Mickey was clearly on his mind a lot. From their conversations Jason was able to detect sadness, determination, regret, and love, and it was evident, that like Mickey, whatever was between them was far from over.

 

Grace stayed nearby while letting the plan unfold, and when Jason told her Ian mentioned their friend, knew it was her turn to meet the man who stole and then crushed Mickey’s heart.

The only dire aspect that couldn’t be forgotten was Mickey’s protection.

The young woman refused to let Ian near Mickey, or even divulge knowing him unless he proved worthy. Ian Gallagher would not fucking hurt Mickey like that again. Maybe it wasn't her place to protect him, but Grace felt like she needed to.

She decided to go to the hotel and ask the redhead to lunch the following day to discuss other trip opportunities.

For someone who seemed moderately secretive and private, Ian was shit at hiding.

The businesswoman played the role of host but got sidetracked once she saw the papers strewn all over the floor and bed. Grace couldn't see what most of the documents said, but saw numerous photos of Mickey. Most of them were older, besides a mugshot, and a few of the two of them in a car. It must have been the drive to the border. They looked happy despite the circumstances they were under.

Ms. Veglia asked what he was working on and the redhead’s face dropped in horror at the notes and photographs he forgot to put away. He rambled for a short bit, attempting to play it cool and failing miserably. What she did find out was that Ian had been looking for Mickey, and although she didn't know what for, it was enough until lunch the next day.

 

Now with a little less distaste for Ian, lunch went pretty smoothly. It was slightly awkward in the beginning but soon conversation flowed freely. He wasn't as bad as she thought he would be, but she stayed skeptical.

When it came time to get down to business, Grace was strategic. She wanted to know if Ian had what it took to impress her, if he really wanted the man he left behind. She needed to know the lengths Ian would go to to get Mickey back, that is if he even brought him up.  

If worse came to worse, Ian would get some time on a cruise and Mickey wouldn’t get hurt because he wouldn’t know.

Grace dropped bits of information, such as how the ships were hiring for various positions, and the destination stop in Mexico, to see if Gallagher would react. This was a situation that couldn’t be forced, Ian needed to want to be with Mickey. Once Mexico was mentioned though, the gears turning in Ian’s head may as well have been visible.

He agreed to the trip and Grace was willing to leave it at that, but Ian amused her with a question about her own life, a story she clearly didn't share. It was obvious Jason told him and she was intrigued to see where Ian would go with the information.

She answered his question truthfully, that her family did help Jason, and the nature of their relationship.

However, the redhead’s next request caught her off guard. Ian wanted to send in a resume to apply for a job on one of the cruises.

Still skeptical, Ms. Veglia decided to have a little fun.

Grace challenged him to see if he’d back down and retract his statement. The blonde wanted to hear what Ian thought he could be of use for. The question may have come out more like a statement and a little rude but it had a purpose. 

The businesswoman already knew Ian qualified for multiple jobs so asking that was just a formality. What Grace really wanted to know was why he would be okay leaving his family and life in Chicago behind now when he couldn't before.

Ian’s answer floored her. His entire reasoning revolved around Mickey, was brutally truthful, and full of regret and hope for redemption and forgiveness from the one person he truly loved.

When Grace finally asked Ian what he would do once he found his missing love, and heard the redhead whisper that he would never leave Mickey again, she decided to give him a shot.

 

She gave him the job, but more so the opportunity to win Mickey back, and fuck Grace hoped she wouldn’t regret it.

 

* * *

 

One night a few months before, the best friends were laid back on the balcony and talking about Ian Gallagher. Light from the stars scattered across the sky reflected off the waves.

It was beautiful. They were already pretty drunk as a joint was passed back and forth. Grace made a dumbass joke that revolved around her maybe one day playing cupid for Mickey.

“Find a way to make him stay, then sure, play Cupid all you fucking want” was all Mickey said back, and though it was in a laughing manner, she knew he was serious.

Mickey may not remember the confession, but Grace did, and she was going to make it happen for him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well it's been a month since my last post but life happens, shit goes down, yada yada yada.
> 
> Chapter 12 is written, just needs to be edited. Ian will be living out at sea so things will be changing and picking up from here on out! Should be updated today but definitely no later than Monday. 
> 
> Thanks to anyone still reading!
> 
> Lastly, a very special thanks to Jill. Without you this fic would not exist, it's as simple as that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to do as much research as I could to make this story as accurate as possible.  
> That being said, to work medical on a cruise you have to at least be a paramedic. I didn't know that until about halfway through so for the purposes of this work, Ian took those two to three years in canon to become a paramedic. 
> 
> I'm sorry to anyone who is bothered by the inaccuracies, it was the only opening I found to make it work.

 

 

Ian was over the moon about obtaining a job that would give him the opportunity to set foot in Mexico to look for Mickey. He wasn't planning on ever giving up on his search for the brunet, but he was hitting more dead ends than not, and started to doubt his outcome.

But now, well fuck, he was getting a real fighting chance, and was adamant about not fucking it up.

 

The following Sunday after his lunch with Ms. Veglia, the redhead boarded a cruise to Mexico. For the next eight days, when not on land, he was shadowing the working paramedics.

Grace wanted him to understand how different working and residing on water is than on land. He needed to be willing to embrace the changes and put in the hours and dedication the job required, and after those few days of observing the staff and crew-workers in action, Ian was left entirely captivated.

He found a commanding system that was uniquely spirited, and unlike anything he had dealt with in Chicago. Of course, the redhead was nervous but ready to take on the responsibility and new way of life.

 

At first, Lip and Fiona were worried when their little brother informed them that he was leaving, but once the situation was explained, they couldn't dispute it.

Ian was not just going into this completely blind, he made sure to secure a job and a place to live, all while being able to continue his quest. He had clearly thought it through to guarantee himself his best shot and for that the siblings could not have been prouder.

The middle Gallagher was relieved for the lack of fighting and condescending comments, it was nice to have his family on his side again.

 

He understood how one could view his decision to live at sea as impulsive, but the reality was he’d been planning to leave and search for Mickey for a while now. He may not have known the steps to take to get there yet, but he had been mentally prepared.

Ian was of complete sound mind when he made his choice, and this time he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Yes, there were a lot of positives, but Ian wasn’t fooling himself. He knew he had his work cut out for him, and by February 1st he was in Chicago with a schedule in full swing.

 

* * *

 

181 days.

Ian had 181 days to get his shit together, and become a fully functioning adult.

 

In six months his contract would officially start and he had an essential checklist to accomplish before then.

Before leaving the Golden State, he started by contacting his former station. It had been a while since being an active paramedic and he deemed it best to work in the field and attend refresher classes prior to the cruise’s residential training course.

Ian was fortunate enough to have his former job and colleagues welcome him back on such short notice.

The higher-ups understood this was a temporary arrangement. They must have been short staffed due to the lack of hassle they gave him, not that he was complaining.

 

Sue was happy to have him back. Her new partner was nice and a good worker, but her and Ian had a bond that hadn’t been achievable with the other guy yet.

She was extremely proud that the redhead was challenging himself, or in her words: "you finally quit wasting your fucking time being a coward and went after what you really want." And what he really wanted was Mickey.

Sue was right, he had been wasting valuable time.

Ian confessed every detail about Mickey, their relationship, and the events that led him to this point, and Sue made him swear to keep in touch once he departed. She really hoped he’d get his unconventional fairy tale ending.

 

Those three months consisted of work, studying, and being with his family. Ian didn’t do much else. There were no club or bar outings, or random causes to join - it had no appeal anymore. The Gallagher was focused on what was to come and distraction was not an option.

He continued his pursuit for Mickey as well, but now had less time. The search was altered though; he hoped events, areas, and establishments around the ports would be more effective than unhelpful articles. At least there would be different places to investigate once he got there.

 

Ian was extremely diligent with his mental state and care. He knew if his health declined that this whole opportunity would be out the window.

His current combination of lithium, lamictal, and wellbutrin did him well, and he had blood tests done at least once a month to make sure his lithium levels were within therapeutic range.

It wasn’t easy. He hadn’t been so active in a long time and some days he did feel variations of instability from the stress of the quick and drastic change in pace and obligation.

Because most days were long and draining, Ian and his psychiatrist kept in close contact in case of necessary medication changes. They agreed on minor adjustments like immediate to extended-release, or if unavoidable, dosage alterations based on if he was feeling more manic or depressive.

 

He was feeling confident and on track and it was very satisfying.

Ian stuck to routine, stayed on top of his psychiatrist appointments, and exercised a minimum of four times a week to help keep a clear head and before he knew it, three months in Chicago had flown by and he was embarking on a residential training course for twelve weeks.

  
\-------------

 

92 days.

In 92 days Ian would start a new life and finally make it to Mexico.

 

He wasn’t quite certain of what to expect once he got to training. 

It was intense and a lot to remember, but like most things, would just take some time and repetition to get used to.

 

Before dividing into specific departments, every crew member needed to be taught ship safety. Ian learned how to abandon ship in case of emergency before he and the other workers teamed up to launch life rafts for a man overboard situation.

Next was extinguishing fires. There were walls upon walls of  flames burning in an area filled with ducts and pipework, the company’s replica of a ship’s engine. He found it mesmerizing in a sense - as long as it was fake, of course.

Whether you were a bartender, cook, worked in the gift shop, or any other position on the cruise, you had to know how to effectively put out a fire that could ignite in any nook and cranny of the boat, no exceptions. The last major lesson everyone needed to master was handling the lifeboats, and to help board the passengers in case - god forbid - they needed to evacuate the ship.

 

After each trainee had perfected the basic safety segment of training, the group was split into their own departments and from then on out, it was game on.

Ian’s following weeks revolved around training specific to the medical department. Individual exercises, group and pair activities, group discussions, and role-play scenarios became his life, and the preparation boosted his confidence to walk into a brand new and unknown situation.

By contributing to the classes and team building exercises, Ian was able to meet other new employees, but for the time being preferred to keep mostly to himself. There wasn’t anyone he particularly disliked, and he hoped it would stay that way, he just had a few approaching goals he needed to stay focused on for the time being. It was only the beginning and Ian refused to get involved in anyone’s bullshit when he had more than enough of his own to make up for.

 

Twelve weeks later with a head full of new knowledge, Ian went back to Chicago to spend a few last days at home. Leaving meant he would miss out on a lot, but the rewards had the potential to be far greater than anything he would ever have if he stayed.

He caught up on sleep and spent time with his family – there was no telling how long it would be until he saw them again.

His only other order of business was to see his psychiatrist one last time and set up a long-term plan to obtain his medication and stay on track.

 

Ian was beyond ready for the new adventure. The undying desire coursing through his veins for the man he could have had, the life he disregarded, was so painfully tangible and he prayed this could bring him one step closer to forgiveness.

 

\-------------

 

2 Days.

In 2 days the sand in the hourglass would run out and Ian would be leaving everything he’d ever known behind. It’s been a long time coming but it was now finally setting in.

 

Predictably, two nights before his departure, Ian’s siblings felt it was only right to throw a typical Gallagher family party. Most of the family, as well as Kev and Vee, were pretty drunk.

Ian had a beer and smoked a joint, he was having a good time but kept his participation in the debauchery to a minimum. 

He knew Lip was sober and did not want to disrupt his own regimen. The two brothers sat on the front porch, just enjoying the cool Chicago summer breeze and shooting the shit until conversation turned heavy, more vulnerable and truthful.

 

“Fuck man, you know, I’m kind of freaking out,” Lip blurted out.

Ian let out a loud guffaw and raised his head to look at his brother, “I get it. I’m fucking terrified.”

They both smiled, mainly to themselves, relieved to not be the only Gallagher fearful of the unknown.

“I’ve been feeling really damn good, you know? I don’t want to relapse after making so much progress, and shit Ian, you won’t be here, and everyone has their own lives now…” the brunet took a breath, reality finally sinking in, “the Gallagher clan doesn’t cross paths much anymore, do we?”

Ian’s attention zeroed in on the lighter in Lip’s hand as he mindlessly spun the spark wheel before finally lighting a cigarette. The igniting flame brought him back and he gave his older brother a sympathetic smile.

“Not really. I don’t know, I feel like I’ve known this for a while though. I distanced myself earlier than most of you, physically but more mentally, and I’m sorry for that.” To which Lip cut him off with a wave of his hand and a light scoff.

“That’s different.” He took another puff and passed the stick to his younger brother. Ian looked him in the eye, trying to grasp how he could not be liable for his absence. “You were going through shit with your bipolar, had to learn to adapt again. I never really said it, but I’m fucking thankful Mickey was here. I know you guys broke up soon after you came back and all, but I don’t think any of us, yourself included, could have gotten through it without him.” He let out a guilty sigh, the truth dawning on him as he continued. “Mickey was a rock for all of us in one way or another during that time. Guess we should have extended the same branch - he probably needed someone too.”

Ian stayed silent as water invaded his tear ducts, and quickly wiped it away before it had the chance to fall. Lip was right, no one really understood the extent to which Mickey supported him, maybe not even the redhead himself. Mickey saved his fucking life by making sure Ian was taken care of when he couldn’t or refused to do it himself. Mickey just wanted him to be healthy, that’s all.

The younger Gallagher’s mind was in overdrive, and it was causing a physical reaction. All of the mistakes he made with Mickey were at the forefront and he was starting to feel a little sick. He chose to deflect and instead put the focus back on Lip.

“You know, you were dealing with your own shit too, don’t forget that. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to stay sober, growing up like we did, but you’re going to be alright. You _will_ make it, even if you fall again. I’m sure.” He passed the cigarette back to Lip and took the opportunity to make direct eye contact with his older brother. “I’m really proud of you.” Ian lets out a soft chuckle, having received but never returned the sentiment before. “You hit your rock bottom, can only go up from there,” he said with a smirk.

 

Lip snorted and punched Ian in the arm, happy to hear the cheesy but honest words.

Conversation fizzled out and the passing of a cigarette and distant sound of music and chatter took its place.

Ian rocked back and forth like a damn metronome, but couldn’t bother to care. He was freaking out and he couldn’t turn it off.

 

“What if,” he paused and cleared his throat. “Wha-“ he tried again but was cut off when Fiona stumbled slightly out the front door and took a seat beside them.

The eldest Gallagher wrapped her arms around Ian’s waist and held him tight, refusing to let go. Her little brother was leaving for good this time, heading far away from Chicago, and as thrilled as she was for him, Fiona was going to miss him like hell. But for a while now, Ian had been obsessed with finding Mickey, who she knew in her heart was his forever and would be good for him. She wasn’t going to keep him from creating a family of his own.

Fiona looked to the boys and gestured with her hand for them to continue.

“Well don’t stop on my account, I’m all ears.” she said, releasing a short giggle before putting on her serious-when-drunk face, taking in the solemn mood.

The outburst caused the brothers to snicker, easing the tension and making it easier for Ian to voice his concerns.

“What if I don’t find him?” the redhead murmured.

“Oh, sweetface. You can’t think like that. Look, maybe you won’t find him now or anytime soon but you will, I know it.” Fiona assured him.

Lip cut in before his younger brother could counter, “I’m with Fi on this one, man. Don’t expect quick results, it’s unrealistic and you know that. I’ve seen your notes, you have a lot of ground to cover and it’s going to be one hell of a fucking challenge. Just remember it’ll all be worth it in the end, no matter how long it takes.

 

Ian nodded in acknowledgement, grasping a small rock and proceeding to carve patterns into the front porch to distract himself.

He struggled to slow down the uproar of thoughts clouding his head, and Lip and Fiona could tell.

They sat in heavy silence and patiently waited for their younger brother to say what was on his mind.

 

“What if I do find him and he wants nothing to do with me? I mean I –“ he looked desperately up at the night sky like the universe would grant him the damn words he couldn’t seem to formulate. He took a moment to just breathe and calm the hell down. “I would understand, I probably wouldn’t forgive myself either. I made a mistake. It was a huge, unforgivable mistake, I know that, and I just – I thought I could live without him but I was so fucking wrong. If Mick doesn’t want me, I don’t really know where to go from there…shit, I’m being selfish. As long as he’s okay, that’s what really matters. I just need to know Mickey is safe and happy, even if it will never be with me.”

Fiona grabbed Ian’s hand and squeezed hard enough to get a reaction, the stimulation being enough to shock him out of his emotional state a little. Ian gave her an apologetic smile and she held him tighter.

Fi and I fucked up too,” Lip finally responded. “We shouldn’t have told you not to go; we shouldn’t have discouraged you, especially if our words swayed you in any way.”

Ian could feel Fiona nodding her head in agreement with unwavering assurance and he gave them a small but genuine smile. “We can’t go back and neither can you,” Lip continued. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try and change the outcome. People can redeem themselves, I know you can.”

 

The redhead considered his siblings’ words, letting them soak in. He was quietly contemplating when he heard the flick of a lighter and a newly-lit cigarette was handed to him.

He gratefully accepted the stick from his brother and rested his head on Fiona’s shoulder, inhaling the much needed smoke. He held it in for a few seconds until he could feel the mild burn in his throat before exhaling towards the infinite skies, releasing bits of his tension and anxiety with each puff and watching it evaporate into the darkness.

 

\-------------

 

1 Day.

 

He laid in bed and watched the numbers on the clock illuminate the dark room.

The time flashed from 11:59 pm to 12:00 am, once again concluding another day to start anew, just like he would be in a matter of hours.

He smiled to himself, got comfortable and let his eyes drift to sleep.

 

Ian Gallagher was going to redeem himself and create a new beginning.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thousand thanks to Jill for helping with not only this chapter, but every single one before it. Her editing is what has made this fic function and I am so grateful for the time she has made for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My last update said I'd be putting the next chapter up within days. Clearly, it's been over a month later so I apologize for anyone reading. Won't be doing that again. 
> 
> I've had this part written for a while, and really did believe it would be posted, but life got crazy, and I felt all out of whack which resulted in no inspiration and endless rewrites. That said, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one, but it was the best I could do to continue the story and write a better next chapter. 
> 
> Feedback and Criticism, if you have any, would be greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy!

 

The tattooed fingers intertwined with his own grounded Ian as much as the sand between his toes. He turned to his right and gazed at the beautiful man lounging in the chair beside him, finding it hard to believe he was really there. He had started to doubt he’d ever see Mickey again.  

The moment was perfect. It was everything to him; Mickey was everything. The brunet continued to bathe in the light and warmth the last remaining rays of sun provided, and Ian could only smile, left nothing short of enchanted.

He wanted to ask Mickey if they could discuss the elephant in the room. He couldn’t avoid the subject any longer. Ian needed to know if Mickey could ever see himself having some sort of future together one day.

But what if he said no? Would they just be temporary until Mickey found the man he really wanted to be with, who wouldn’t abandon him like Ian did? Could Mickey still love him like he did before?

Ian knew he could only blame himself for the uncertainty, but it wouldn’t make it hurt any less if Mickey moved on. The redhead desperately hoped Mick would realize he was done with Chicago, done with anywhere the brunet wasn’t. Ian wanted him to know how sorry he was for all the damage already done and he wanted to spend his life with Mickey, making it up to him.

 

“Hey, Mick?”

“Whatcha thinking about, Gallagher?”

Ian’s cheeks flushed a shade of pink he wished he could hide but couldn’t. He sometimes forgot how well this man was able to read him.

“So with this, uh, us...I guess I just wanted to know…” he stammered, searching for the right words. But when he turned to look at Mickey again, he was nowhere to be found.

 

The seat next to him was empty and little by little the sand, water, it all faded to black until the only thing left was him. Ian screamed for Mickey, wanted to go find him, but he didn’t know where to start.

Suddenly an earth-shattering noise filled the darkness and he covered his ears, needing it to stop. But just as quickly as it began, it was over. His vision went white and Ian was jolted out of his subconscious by the loud alarm echoing throughout the cabin - the same one from his dream. He sat up and ran a hand over his tired face before making his way out of bed and over to the phone on the dresser across the room.

The ringing was truly the most dreadful noise and a harsh way to be welcomed into a new morning, but that’s exactly why he chose it. The racket never failed to wake him up to take his medication and start the day - a practical blessing in disguise. 

The redhead switched the awful alarm off, downed his morning medication, and dragged himself to the window to look out at the glimmering ocean and clear skies while he endured the aftereffects of the pills.

Strangely enough, this was his favorite part of the morning. There was something about it that made Ian feel completely at peace, second to how he always felt in Mickey’s presence. The side effects he could’ve done without, but at least he was able to live in the moment and think freely, surrounded by scenic serenity. Making time for opportunities to reflect and recharge was crucial.

Ruminating on his experience with bipolar disorder had become easier and much less destructive since he’d accepted that fighting it was a useless battle.

The pride that milestone held still caught him by surprise some days. He no longer felt so suffocated by his illness. It was just a part of him; it didn’t control him anymore.

Did it suck knowing he had to rely on medication to be able to function in society? Fuck, of course. But the redhead refused to sit there feeling sorry for himself, not anymore. The only way out was to keep on moving because, ultimately, this was his life and the outcome was dependent on him making the best of it. Accepting the things that couldn’t be changed, that, like it or not, the cards had been dealt and he had been given a few shitty hands, had saved him.

That being said, hard times happened. It would’ve been unrealistic to expect otherwise.The medication could fail, taking his control and making the “what ifs” pointless because the episodes wouldn’t always be preventable. As long as he could honestly say he was taking care of himself to the best of his ability, he would still be on the right path.

If he followed protocol to get the help needed, it proved he was still trying. He just had to be able to pick himself back up, to be resilient. Luckily, that was something he managed to keep doing.

There were times when he believed the research done and knowledge he possessed might not always be a good thing, but by being aware of himself, he was able to earn back some of the control that had been stolen from him.

The curiosity to understand led him to keep track of his own dreams. The majority weren’t notable, but some did stand out as if trying to convey a message, and those alarming and repetitive visions were the ones that both fascinated and haunted Ian most. They tended to occur around when a medication alteration was due, almost like his subconscious was giving him hints to latch on to. The Mickey dream - or maybe nightmare - was different.

The phantasm had come twice just that week and Ian was certain he was balanced and not in need of any changes. The only explanation he could come up with was that it was a manifestation of the heavy guilt that weighed on his mind.  

That’s what psychologists seemed to theorize, so it had to mean something, right?

After a couple minutes, the redhead could sense the tremors subsiding and he left the window to head to the bathroom. He went through the motions of his morning routine, turning the shower on to warm up while he relieved himself and brushed his teeth.

Finally he stepped under the shower head to let the water beat down on his back. He washed his hair and body while steam filled up the space and rested his forehead against the cool tile wall.

Something felt off - not detrimental, just off. Maybe it was nerves or anticipation? He wasn't quite sure how to describe the feeling but it wasn't particularly alarming and he didn't have the time to sit and figure it out right then. Ian wasn’t blind to the fact that he had mastered the art of overthinking and he decided the combination of the dream and fatigue to be the likely culprit. He figured it would dissipate once he became preoccupied with work.

Emerging from his thoughts, he turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist as he hurried back into the bedroom to finish getting ready for the day before hauling ass to the main dining hall for breakfast.

 <><><><><> 

Ian might have been able to wake up in the morning but that didn’t mean shit. He still wasn’t a morning person and probably never would be. The quiet helped, so he had an unofficial claimed seat in the back of the room. It was only a quarter past six though, and still fairly empty except for a small handful of people and a few employees, including his usual waitress, Mikaela, who he’d briefly chat with before she left with his order.

He pulled his planner out of his bag to review his schedule - a habit he had developed at the suggestion of his therapist - though it didn’t differ much from any other day. August had flown by; it was mid-September and Ian had been on the ship - MS Adeline - for just a few days shy of eight weeks already. Overall, the job had stayed pretty consistent, which helped Ian adapt to and maintain his new lifestyle abroad. He worked a minimum of five days a week in twelve hour shifts, but he didn’t mind the long hours.

It had worried him at first, until he had asked Ms. Veglia if she would mind assigning him strictly to the morning shift. Ian had been prepared to give her an explanation, assuming most employers would expect one, but to his surprise, his request wasn’t questioned. She simply gave him a positive confirmation and proceeded to ask how he was doing and how his “mission” was coming along. The young woman was his boss and, in respectful fashion, he would always view her as such, but it was kind of nice to have someone he could genuinely talk to uncensored every once in awhile.

She was kind but tough and acted more South Side than one would think someone of her status probably should. Ian even discovered the same shitty bar she frequented for years. She was real and down to earth and he thought that made her a great businesswoman, but more importantly, a great person. He couldn’t help but think that Mickey would love her too if he ever met her.

Since the day she gave him the schedule approval, he had started work every morning at 7:00AM, opening the medical clinic and treating patients for three hours before it closed again until noon. In the meantime, he was left to his own devices, simply carrying a pager that would alert him if anyone needed immediate medical attention.

Ian knew it was an abnormal system, at least compared to what he was used to, but it was one he was benefitting from. The down time and freedom was definitely advantageous. He knew he was fortunate; his high ranking gave him privileges most other employees didn’t have.

He had access to all areas of the ship and was free to do as he pleased, the only caveats being that he couldn’t drink - which he didn’t do much of these days anyway - and he had to be ready to respond to an emergency at a moment’s notice.

It was also what allowed him to skip out on frenzied crew dining and eat in his quiet corner of that near empty restaurant each morning, and he was grateful for the chance to relax and mentally prepare for the day ahead.

Checking his watch and noticing it was nearing seven, Ian quickly swallowed the last few bites of his breakfast. After waving Mikaela down for a to-go coffee and a swift goodbye, he was out the door, heading toward the clinic as the ship began to come alive for the day around him.

 

* * *

 

The Adaline functioned on an eight day rotation and it was currently day four, which meant they’d arrived in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico around noon. Afternoon clinic ended at four, and the uneasy feeling from that morning hadn’t dissipated as he’d hoped, so after mindlessly roaming around for half an hour, Ian decided to join some passengers on a visit to The Botanical Gardens of Vallarta. He figured peaceful gardens would be a good place to unwind and the change in scenery would be a good distraction for his mind.

The paramedics had an alternating schedule on which they could sometimes accompany the passengers on excursions for free while on call. The only requirement, whether they were on the clock or not, was to be prepared to respond to any incidents that might occur, and that seemed more than fair to him. Getting to leave the ship had to be the best part of the job, and his growing familiarity with the city went a long way in his search for Mickey.

Ian would be lying if he said he wasn’t thoroughly engrossed in finding anything that could lead him to Mickey. Unless he was feeling unwell, working, or sleeping, he was searching for the Milkovich - either physically or by scouring the internet for anything possibly connected to him. He ventured to different places around Puerto Vallarta whenever they were in port and spoke to the locals, giving a description and sometimes showing a photo if it seemed they could have actual information. Being mindful of his fugitive status, he tried to be cautious and low-key to avoid drawing too much attention to Mickey if he was nearby, but he was desperate for any clues that could point him in the right direction.

Some of the locals said they’d seen a man fitting Mickey’s description but it was also a tourist city. Ultimately, a city full of tourists had its benefits but also disadvantages. Thousands of faces constantly filtered in and out, nothing really long-term, which made it easier to go unnoticed - a good thing when you’re trying to hide, not so much when you’re looking for someone.

It was obviously only one of the many communities and cities in Mexico, but Ian truly believed that Mickey would stay close to the water, out of illegal activity, and lay low, doing some sort of under-the-table work. Puerto Vallarta also happened to be one of the most gay-friendly cities in the country and Ian believed -- hoped -- that Mickey wouldn’t go back in the closet after coming out to Terry and practically the entire neighborhood.

A little over two weeks prior, Ian had hit the jackpot when he scoped out a gay club and asked the staff if they had spotted the brunet. Ian showed his picture to one of the bartenders, who said he had seen Mickey about four months earlier.

It was Ian’s first confirmation that Mickey had been in the area. The server claimed the man had been with a blonde, remembering him because of his questionable drink order - Jack and orange juice. It was no doubt the missing Milkovich, and Ian hadn’t felt so light or smiled that big in a long fucking time.

The redhead thanked the employee for his help and left his number in case he recalled anymore information or saw Mickey again. Although Ian hated to go down the road of Mickey having potentially moved on, it was a relief to know he was safe, well enough to go out and have fun, and comfortable enough with himself to socialize at a gay club. It was slightly disappointing that months had passed since the sighting -- Mickey could've been long gone by then -- but there was still a very real possibility he could be found somewhere in Puerto Vallarta, reinvigorating Ian’s hope and determination.

<><><><><>

The botanical garden tour had lasted a half hour past the end of Ian’s shift and he was fucking starving. He practically ran back to his cabin, changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and raced off the boat to head into town again. Puerto Vallarta was littered with amazing sights and attractions to discover, but Ian preferred to spend his time off at a grungy bar he had stumbled upon that reminded him a lot of The Alibi. The place had WiFi, decent food, and was extremely low-key compared to all the other tourist establishments. It was a hole in the wall frequented mostly by locals and he felt at home there.

Ian was relaxing in his booth, stomach finally full, and scanning the internet for any new information or places of interest to add to his list when he heard a throat being cleared behind him. His head snapped up and he immediately turned to see who was seeking his attention.

“C’mon,” the guy said, already walking away and gesturing with his head for the redhead to follow him. Bewildered, Ian just stared at the man’s retreating form for a short moment before he grabbed his belongings and scrambled to catch up.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An apology letter.

Hi readers, 

It’s been five months since the last update, which I haven’t been too keen about. 

I have come to a point where in the past ten years, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. However, with that has come new and different challenges to be faced with and honestly, it’s been really fucking hard moving forward and adapting to this “new life” I’ve been able to create. 

That said, despite the good, it’s taken a huge hit on my creativity. I feel I’m out of ideas most of the time and finishing this, or even just writing the next chapter has been incredibly frustrating. 

I will finish the fic, it’s one of my goals and this post is kind of like holding myself to it. I don’t know when this will happen and won’t post anything I don’t feel is satisfactory but I hope to bring at least one new chapter in the next month. 

Slowly, new ideas have started to come together and I think I’ve finally figured out the direction for the rest of this story, which I’m very excited about. 

Thank you for anyone who has read this and plans to continue once updated. 

-M


End file.
